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Mixed
Marriages
Important
Notice: The following is not comprehensive. Note that the term "mixed
marriage" may be used herein as a synonym for "disparity
of cult" [although there is technically a difference between
the two terms ("disparity of cult" may strictly refer to
marriages between Catholics and unbaptized non-Catholics)]. We make no guarantee regarding any
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What
is a 'Mixed Marriage'?
Does
a 'Mixed Marriage' Have Anything to do with Race?
If
a Catholic Marries Another 'Christian', is This Considered a Mixed
Marriage?
What is the Church's
Traditional Teaching on Mixed Marriage?
Why Has the Church
Always Objected to Mixed Marriage?
Does the Church Ever
Allow Mixed Marriages?
Also
Try...
'Mixed Marriage' refers to
a marriage wherein one party is Catholic and the other party is not.
Reminder:
The term "mixed marriage" may be used herein as a synonym for
"disparity of cult" [although there is technically a
difference between the two terms ("disparity of cult" may
strictly refer to marriages between Catholics and unbaptized
non-Catholics)].
[top]
No. This is a common
misconception. As indicated above, a 'Mixed Marriage' refers to a
marriage wherein one party is Catholic and the other party is not. It
has nothing to do with either party's race. If a white person and a
black person marry and both are Catholic, there is no mixed
marriage.
[top]
Those who call themselves
Christian, but are not members of the true Church of Christ, the Roman
Catholic Church, have always been considered by the
Church to be heretics or schismatics. Not only do most of them reject
the authority of the Church, but they usually reject at least some of
the sacraments, they often reject certain dogmas of the Church (e.g. the
Real Presence, papal infallibility, Marian doctrines, necessity of faith and works,
etc.), and they often see nothing wrong with engaging in sinful actions
condemned by the Church (e.g. birth control, abortion, divorce, etc.).
The marriage of a Catholic to a heretic or schismatic, even if the non-Catholic
party considers himself/herself 'Christian', is a mixed marriage.
Also
See:
Protestantism
is Not Another Equally Pleasing Form of the Same Christian
Religion
Does
it Really Matter if I'm Catholic or Not? (The
Importance of Being Catholic: Combating Religious Indifferentism)
Necessity
of Being Catholic For Salvation
Against
Religious Indifferentism
Heresy/Heretics
& Schism/Schismatics
[top]
From earliest times, the
Church has strongly warned against and forbidden mixed marriages. The Church has
always considered such marriages dangerous to Catholics and their
offspring, and has even used such references as "detestable marriages
which Holy Mother Church has continually condemned and interdicted"
(Pope Benedict XIV) to refer to mixed marriages. The following examples may help illustrate the traditional teaching of the
Church regarding mixed marriages:
"Christians shall
not marry heretics. They shall neither take them nor their children in
marriage, nor shall they give their sons or daughters in marriage to
them, until they promise to become Christians [that is,
Catholics]." (Council of Laodicea, 365 A.D.)
"Can. 1060 Most
severely does the Church prohibit everywhere that marriage be entered
into by two baptized persons, one of whom is Catholic, and the other
belonging to a heretical or schismatic sect; indeed, if there is a
danger of perversion to the Catholic spouse and children, that
marriage is forbidden even by divine law." (1917 Code of Canon
Law)
"Further remind them
that even for the gravest of reasons it is not permitted to enter into
marriage with Christians who are not Catholics; those who do so
without the authority and indulgence of the Church sin before God and
the Church." (Pope Leo XIII, "Quod Multum", 1886 A.D.)
"Since We must
diligently safeguard the integrity of sound doctrine and practice, We
cannot help but be displeased with whatever might imperil them. And
yet what the Church has always thought about marriages between
Catholics and non-Catholics is more than abundantly clear. Indeed she
has always considered such marriages to be illicit and destructive
both because of the disgraceful sharing in sacramental matters
involved and because of the ever present danger of the Catholic spouse
and improper upbringing of offspring. And this is the tenor of most
ancient canons severely prohibiting such marriages and more recent
sanctions of supreme pontiffs." (Pope Gregory XVI, "Quas
Vestro", 1841 A.D.)
"If every marriage is
from God it is not licit to dissolve any marriage. How, then, does the
Apostle say: 'If the unbeliever departs, let him depart' (1 Cor. 7:15)? What is
remarkable in this saying is that, far from intending Christians to find
in it an excuse for divorce, he shows that not every marriage is in fact
from God; for Christians, in God's tribunal, cannot be joined to pagans,
when the law forbids it." (St. Ambrose of Milan, Doctor of the
Church, circa 389 A.D.)
[top]
There are many reasons the
Church has always objected to mixed marriages. In addition to the
biblical admonitions...
St. Paul, Ti. 3:10-11:
"After a first and second warning, break off contact with a heretic, realizing that such a person is
perverted and sinful and stands self-condemned."
St. Paul, 2 Cor. 6:14-18:
"Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers.
For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what
fellowship does light have with darkness? What accord has Christ with
Beliar? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? What
agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the
living God; as God said: 'I will live with them and move among them, and
I will be their God and they shall be my people. Therefore, come forth
from them and be separate,' says the Lord, 'and touch nothing unclean;
then I will receive you and I will be a father to you, and you shall be
sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.'"
And also...
St. John, 2 Jn.1:10-11:
"If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not
receive him in your house or even greet him; for whoever greets him
shares in his evil works."
St. Paul, Eph. 5:6-7: "Let
no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the
wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient. So do not be associated
with them."
Our Lord Jesus Christ,
Mt. 18:17: "If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector."
St. Paul, Rom. 16:17-18:
"I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who create
dissensions and obstacles, in opposition to the teaching that you
learned; avoid them. For such people do not serve our Lord Christ but
their own appetites, and by fair and flattering speech they deceive
the hearts of the innocent."
St. Paul, Gal. 1:8-10:
"But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach (to you) a
gospel other than the one that we preached to you, let that one be
accursed! As we have said before, and now I say again, if anyone
preaches to you a gospel other than the one that you received, let
that one be accursed! Am I now currying favor with human beings or
God?"
The Church also has concern
that...
"When two do not agree
about religion, it is nearly always futile to hope for agreement in
other things." (Pope Leo XIII)
"[D]isparity of
worship is contrary to marriage in respect of its chief good, which is
the good of the offspring." (St. Thomas Aquinas, Doctor of the
Church and "greatest theologian in the history of the Church")
"Disparity of worship
is an impediment to marriage, not by reason of unbelief, but on account
of the difference of faith. For disparity of worship hinders not only
the second perfection of the offspring, but also the first, since the
parents endeavor to draw their children in different directions, which
is not the case when both are unbelievers." (St. Thomas Aquinas,
Doctor of the Church and "greatest theologian in the history of the
Church")
"Catholic truth and
Church doctrine which forbids mixed marriages as disgraceful because of
the communion in holy things and because of the serious danger of the
perversion of the Catholic spouse and the perverted education of the
future children." (Pope Gregory XVI, "Commissum
Divinitus", 1835 A.D.)
"Such marriages, in fact, as is clear to you from wide experience,
are rarely happy and usually occasion grave loss to the Catholic Church.
A very efficacious means for driving out such grave evils is that
individual Catholics receive a thorough training in the Divine truths
and that the people be shown clearly the road which leads to
salvation." (Pope Pius XII, "Sertum Laetitiae", 1939
A.D.)
"Other reasons also proving that persons
should turn with dread from such marriages are chiefly these: that they
give occasion to forbidden association and communion in religious
matters; endanger the faith of the Catholic partner; are a hindrance to
the proper education of the children; and often lead to a mixing up of
truth and falsehood, and to the belief that all religions are equally
good." (Pope Leo XIII, "Arcanum", 1880 A.D.)
"Whence it comes about not infrequently, as experience shows,
that deplorable defections from religion occur among the offspring, or
at least a headlong descent into that religious indifference which is
closely allied to impiety. There is this also to be considered that in
these mixed marriages it becomes much more difficult to imitate by a
lively conformity of spirit the mystery of which We have spoken, namely
that close union between Christ and His Church. Assuredly, also, will
there be wanting that close union of spirit which as it is the sign and
mark of the Church of Christ, so also should be the sign of Christian
wedlock, its glory and adornment. For, where there exists diversity of
mind, truth and feeling, the bond of union of mind and heart is wont to
be broken, or at least weakened. From this comes the danger lest the
love of man and wife grow cold and the peace and happiness of family
life, resting as it does on the union of hearts, be destroyed."
(Pope Pius XI, "Casti Connubii", 1930 A.D.)
"This religious character of marriage, its sublime signification
of grace and the union between Christ and the Church, evidently requires
that those about to marry should show a holy reverence towards it, and
zealously endeavor to make their marriage approach as nearly as possible
to the archetype of Christ and the Church. They, therefore, who rashly
and heedlessly contract mixed marriages, from which the maternal love
and providence of the Church dissuades her children for very sound
reasons, fail conspicuously in this respect, sometimes with danger to
their eternal salvation. This attitude of the Church to mixed marriages
appears in many of her documents, all of which are summed up in the Code
of Canon Law: 'Everywhere and with the greatest strictness the Church
forbids marriages between baptized persons, one of whom is a Catholic
and the other a member of a schismatical or heretical sect; and if there
is, add to this, the danger of the falling away of the Catholic party
and the perversion of the children, such a marriage is forbidden also by
the divine law.'" (Pope Pius XI, "Casti Connubii", 1930 A.D.)
"Strive to eradicate these slithering errors with all your
strength. Inspire the populace... to keep the Catholic faith and
unity as the only way of salvation with an ever more ardent zeal, and,
thus, to avoid every danger of forsaking it. Once the...faithful [understand] this necessity of maintaining Catholic unity, admonitions
and warnings to them against joining in marriage with heretics will
certainly not be in vain. If on occasion some grave cause should suggest
such a mixed marriage, they will then apply for a dispensation from the
Church and observe the conditions We mentioned above. You and their
parents and others who have care of them are responsible for teaching
them what the judgment of the canons is in this matter. They must be
warned lest they should dare to break these canons and, thus, jeopardize
their souls. Hence if the circumstances suggest it, it may be necessary
to remind them of that well-known precept of the natural and divine law,
which commands us to avoid not only sins but the near occasion of sin as
well. Remind them also of the other precept of the same law which
enjoins parents to rear their children in the discipline and admonitions
of the Lord (Eph. 6.4). Therefore, they must instruct them in the true
worship of God, which is unique to the Catholic religion. Hence, exhort
your faithful to weigh seriously how great an offense they commit
against the supreme Deity and how cruelly they act toward themselves and
their future children when, by rashly contracting a mixed marriage, they
may expose themselves and their children to the danger of perversion. So
that the gravity of such danger may appear more clearly, recall for them
those salutary admonitions of the Apostles, of the Fathers, and of the
canons, which warn that familiar association with heretics is to be
shunned." (Pope Gregory XVI, "Summo Iugiter Studio",
1832 A.D.)
Other negative considerations
of mixed marriages may include:
-
A
constant influence leading the Catholic party away from the Church
(even if not intentional by the non-Catholic). Since a valid
marriage is "till death do you part", this influence may
last until your (or their) dying breath.
-
Most
likely, the non-Catholic party may reject the Real Presence of
Christ in the Holy Eucharist - the very center of our faith, our strength, and the
Bread that gives us life. The consequences of this are legion. For
example:
-
They may eventually chide you for your belief and
cause you to question it.
-
They
may discourage you or prevent you from Eucharistic Adoration.
-
They
may discourage you or prevent you from attending Mass.
-
They
may blaspheme the Eucharist.
-
Day
to day life may become intolerable for a good Catholic. How can a
Catholic patiently endure living with (and creating children with) a
person who has a horror of or distaste for the Body and Blood of
Christ in the Holy Eucharist (not to mention the Church that Christ
founded)?
-
The
non-Catholic spouse may hinder the Catholic spouse from obeying the
laws of the Church concerning the Eucharist (e.g. not receiving Holy
Communion without fasting or receiving Holy Communion in a state of
mortal sin - e.g. by using contraceptives, etc.)
-
If
the non-believing spouse doesn't consider the believing Catholic an idolater,
he/she is being inconsistent. The believing Catholic worships the
Holy Eucharist, whereas the unbeliever may see it as 'bread'. If a
non-believing spouse considers their spouse an 'idolater', how can
they live with them? How can they agree to raise their children to believe
this way? Are they so lukewarm as to not care about (supposed) idolatry?
-
Etc.
-
The
Catholic party may be prevented or discouraged or otherwise not
aided in living out their faith (e.g. Lenten practices, Advent
practices, etc.)
-
Holidays
and other important events (e.g. baptisms, confirmations, etc.) will
probably always be an issue when one party is not Catholic.
-
Since
the other party is not Catholic and may fail to accept that marriage
is "till death do you part", they may eventually seek a
civil divorce. If you were validly married, you could NEVER marry
again during that person's lifetime, even though he/she had engaged in another civil 'marriage'.
-
The
other party may encourage you to worship with them. By participating
in defective worship ('worship' outside Christ's one and only true
Church - an act always held to be sinful),
you offend God and may ultimately lose your faith. In any event, you
will probably end up religiously indifferent.
-
The
Catholic party may be unable to receive the sacraments either because
of the marriage itself (e.g. if proper dispensation is not received) or
because of the practices of the marriage (e.g. use of
contraceptives).
-
Your
efforts to convert the non-Catholic party (or theirs to convert
you), may lead to disquiet within the family.
-
The
non-Catholic may fail to get you the last sacraments at your death
(or when you are gravely ill). And, after your death, no Masses or
prayers may be said for you. The non-Catholic may not even honor your
burial or funeral arrangements consistent with Catholic tradition.
-
The
Catholic party may be encouraged to sin (e.g. miss Mass, use
contraception, ignore penitential rules, etc.) since the other party
may not see these actions as sins.
-
There
may be arguments, bad feelings, and pressure related to disagreement
over religion or religious practices.
-
The
non-Catholic family may put pressure on your family. Even if the
non-Catholic spouse consented to certain conditions before marriage,
it is unlikely that the non-Catholic relatives did the same.
-
Catholic
religious practices that are excellent for a couple to do together
(e.g. praying the rosary, attending Mass, reciting novenas, reading
stories of the saints, attending Church functions, etc.) may become
solitary events. Or, even sadder, they may not occur at all.
-
The
non-Catholic party may not have respect for the Catholic's religious
needs (time for confession, not working on Sunday, penitential works
on Friday, etc.)
-
Since
"[we] cannot help conforming ourselves to what [or whom] we
love" (St. Francis de Sales), the Catholic may find that they
lose their faith or at least fail to practice it. As Scripture
warns, "A little yeast
leavens the whole batch of dough." (Gal. 5:9)
-
A
non-Catholic spouse may prevent a Catholic from living as a good
Catholic [e.g. by discouraging/rejecting a large family, rejecting
the proper role of men and women, not securing the proper religious
education of children (including rejection of necessary homeschooling),
etc.]
-
The
non-Catholic may have had a very different upbringing and may have a
very different value system. When problems occur, their solutions
may be wildly different from those of a good Catholic. Also, their
idea of what is important in life may be very different from what is
important to a faithful Catholic. As time goes on, these issues may
become more manifest and more troublesome.
-
Failure
to carefully follow Church laws (e.g. on contraceptives, penitential
practices, Mass attendance, etc.) may result in a danger to your
soul.
-
As
a Catholic, you no doubt have different friends and role models than
a non-Catholic. Non-Catholics may reject (or belittle or at least
not give proper honor to) Mary and the saints. They may disparage your praying to Mary or the saints and may try to dissuade you from
it. They may also attempt to stop your children from doing so.
-
They
most likely do not consider the pope, bishop or priest to have any
authority over them, whereas you know you are bound to proper
obedience to authority.
-
Your
home may be barren or nearly barren of Catholic religious objects
(crucifixes, statues, images, etc.). Your children may also suffer
from these barren living quarters.
-
You
may end up tolerating the presence of items in your home that are
offensive to God (e.g. corrupted 'Bibles', heretical non-Catholic literature,
etc.).
-
Your
reading and entertainment preferences are likely to be (or become) very
different from a non-Catholic spouse. They may reject specifically
Catholic reading and entertainment or they may want you to engage in
reading or entertainment that is anti-Catholic or at least
un-Catholic. They may be unlikely to read Catholic books to your
children or provide them with proper Catholic entertainment.
-
You
may find it impossible to receive the sacrament of Penance. Not only
might you be discouraged by the non-Catholic spouse from attending,
but you may not be able to receive absolution if you are engaging in
sin and won't stop - e.g. contraception (thereby endangering your
eternal soul). Remember that if you appear
to condone another's sin by silence, you also become guilty of sin.
-
Disputes
over the upbringing of children are likely to be many and may bring
great discord into the marriage.
-
It
is unlikely that a non-Catholic could ever provide a proper and
complete Catholic education to children.
-
It
seems all but impossible that a non-Catholic could live up to
parental responsibilities as stated by the Church. For example, Pope
Pius XI says, "Christian parents must also
understand that they are destined not only to propagate and preserve
the human race on earth, indeed not only to educate any kind of
worshippers of the true God, but children who are to become members of
the Church of Christ [that is, the Catholic Church], to raise up fellow-citizens of the saints, and
members of God's household, that the worshippers of God and our Savior
may daily increase." How can parents who disagree with what it
takes to do this properly complete this task?
-
If
parents don't maintain the same religion, the children may become
confused and may never be able to see the importance of being
Catholic for salvation.
-
The
non-Catholic spouse will undoubtedly fail to foster vocations and
will certainly teach the children various non-Catholic ways.
-
You
cannot expect a non-Catholic spouse to behave as a Catholic spouse
would behave. This can have far reaching consequences. Many of these
differences may not manifest themselves until time goes by.
-
We
must constantly fight for our faith, but one in a mixed marriage may
receive no help. Instead of having someone by your side, you may be
tied to someone who may pull you in another direction.
-
The
non-Catholic spouse may call various articles of your faith into question
at any time.
-
There
may never be unity in the family.
-
You
can never have the same closeness, the same bond, as you could with
another Catholic - you can never truly be of "one heart and
soul".
-
You
may be under constant pressure to relax your standards (e.g.
concerning modesty, vigilance against sin, etc.).
-
Since
the primary end of marriage (procreation & education of children) may be rejected by a non-Catholic, how
can the marriage ever be successful? What will you do if your spouse
insists on the gravely sinful practice of contracepting? What will
you do if they try to pressure you into participating? ["The
primary end of marriage is the procreation and education of
children; its secondary end is mutual help and to serve as a remedy
for concupiscence. The essential properties of marriage are unity
and indissolubility, which acquire a peculiar firmness in Christian
marriage by reason of its sacramental character." (Code of
Canon Law, 20th century A.D., Canon 1013)]
-
Although
marriage is supposed to be a remedy for concupiscence, non-Catholic
spouses may instead foster an environment that worsens concupiscence.
This may be especially true of members in so called 'Christian' denominations
where they believe they are already 'saved', regardless of what they
do. While you may be vigilant about sin, they may be
"carefree". Your own marriage may become a proximate
danger of sin for you.
-
A
good Catholic who "works out their salvation with fear and
trembling" (cf. Phil. 2:12), may come to resent (or eventually
buy into) a non-Catholic's easy-going "I am already saved" philosophy.
Obviously this philosophy is fraught with danger to the soul and to
adhere to it can only bring harm.
-
When
you really love someone, you want to see them saved. If your spouse
is not Catholic, our faith tells us that their soul is at risk, just by that very fact. To reconcile your love for them with
your faith, it is likely that you will start falling into religious
indifferentism, rejecting the necessity of the Church for salvation.
As a result, you risk loosing your own faith. This may occur even
though you know that Christ only established one Church with the
keys of salvation.
Clearly, a mixed marriage
is dangerous to one's faith and to one's peace and happiness. It is almost
surely a plan for dissension and discord. It may present a clear and
serious danger to one's eternal soul. Since a different religion naturally
comes with an entirely different outlook on life, the couple in a mixed
marriage will certainly be unable to enjoy the most intimate union
possible.
Sometimes a Catholic will
try to convince himself or herself that the differences aren't that
important or that he/she will be able to handle them. They may throw aside
the biblical and constant warnings of the Church. They might try to convince
themselves that the other party's religion is similar or "close
enough" to the Catholic faith. They may try to cite "happy
mixed marriages" of others. They may emphasize their strong love
for the other person. They may look at the warnings herein and discount
them or simply think that they are applicable to others, but not to them.
If so, then wake up! Learn
from those before you! Why do you think the popes and Scripture
warn you so strongly if there's no or only a slight danger? Do you not
realize that long and sad experience confirms these warnings? Those who have
suffered through the sorry consequences of such marriages may be the first to tell you that they were where
you now are and that, back then, they were also certain that the
differences "weren't that important" or that they could
"work through" them.
At first things might seem
rosy, but inevitably, as time passes, the differences will become
more manifest, and the effects will almost certainly present
themselves in many unpleasant ways. A Catholic cannot go into a mixed
marriage ["detestable marriages
which Holy Mother Church has continually condemned and interdicted"
(Pope Benedict XIV)] with their eyes closed as if it was a slight
matter. Such marriages are fraught with danger. One's non-Catholic spouse may be sympathetic
to your religious needs in the beginning, but chances are as time goes on, there
may be resentment and disagreement over religion. The Catholic may
receive no support in his religion, and his faith may wane. You may
mature in faith and realize that, as the popes warn, mixed marriages are
dangerous to the soul and harmful to your children. You may come to
realize how important it is to have a Catholic spouse who will support
your faith. You may come to see the necessity of a proper and
unadulterated Catholic upbringing for your children. You may come to
realize that the difference between you and the non-Catholic in
important matters is like night and day, and that they cannot but hinder
your spiritual progress. If you realize this after you are validly
married, it is too late to make a change. Not even the Church, much less
a court of law, can get you out of a valid and consummated marriage, despite what
society may seem to tell you. "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
(Our Lord Jesus Christ, Mt. 19:6)
Marriage is unquestionably one
of the most important things you may do in your life. It is a sacrament
given by God; It is a grave matter with serious consequences that requires
the most serious reflection. It is a decision that cannot be undone. It
is a time to use your head along with your heart and not to be ruled by
your passions. You must ask yourself what is truly important. You must place
God first. As much as you may feel you love someone, you must place your
love of God first: "Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of
me..." (Our Lord Jesus Christ, Mt. 10:37). You must ask yourself if
your relationship with another person is more important than your
relationship with God. And beware of your answer! Your eternal soul may
depend on it! What you
"feel" now may change. You were created by God and as time
goes on you will be constantly reminded that you were not made for this
life, but for the next. A valid marriage lasts for your entire life (barring
death of the other person). The person you
marry may remain a non-Catholic (and, believe it or not, may even turn
into an anti-Catholic). They may hinder your faith and the salvation of
both yourself and your children. They may even become a proximate
occasion of sin for you. Even if you should be so fortunate that this
does not occur, they are wholly unlikely to willingly support your faith
while they remain outside the Church. Even if they do not reject your Catholicity,
they probably cannot assist it. They may be unable to help you on the
path salvation as they themselves reject the very means of salvation. In
fact, they may do quite the opposite. It may not be intentional, but
they cannot give you what they do not have. Despite all this, you remain
married for your entire life! Your 'epiphany' will be too late if you
are already validly married. It will be too late to marry a supportive
Catholic spouse who will, rather than usher in all the negative consequences
above, do quite the opposite, and instead share with you a
faith-enhancing, peaceful, deeply beautiful and spiritual Catholic home.
No, it will be too late for that beautiful, holy matrimony.
One must realize that
"close to being Catholic" or "similar to being Catholic"
is not good enough! The differences between a Catholic and a non-Catholic
are many, serious, and significant. Maybe you think they will convert?
You will probably find that you are sadly mistaken, since people so
often cling to what is familiar to them. Even if they do go along, they
might resent it or they might not be Catholics "in their heart".
No, one must not make such mistakes. One should not marry into a
situation where faith isn't given the greatest importance right from the
beginning. We were made
for God ["God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in
this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next." (Baltimore
Catechism)] and we can't act as if our relationship with God is secondary or
of less importance than our relationship with any another person, no matter
how much we may love them.
Your wise mother, the
Church, who has dealt with thousands and thousands of cases such as
yours has always disapproved of mixed marriages, proving the rightness of her
teachings over and over again. What makes you think you know better than
her?
Also
See:
Does
it Really Matter if I'm Catholic or Not?
Necessity
of Being Catholic For Salvation
Against
Religious Indifferentism
Heresy/Heretics
& Schism/Schismatics
Duty
to Profess / Defend the Faith
Duty
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Under certain circumstances,
and under certain conditions, the Church has reluctantly granted dispensations
for mixed marriages. However, as Pope Pius XI states, "If the Church occasionally on account of circumstances
does not refuse to grant a dispensation from these strict laws (provided
that the divine law remains intact and the dangers above mentioned are
provided against by suitable safeguards), it is unlikely that the
Catholic party will not suffer some detriment from such a
marriage." (Pope Pius XI, "Casti Connubii", 1930 A.D.)
When mixed marriages have
been tolerated in the past, certain conditions such as the following have always been
attached:
"Can. 1061 § 1 The Church does not dispense from the impediment of
mixed religion, unless: 1° Just and grave cause so urge; ° 2 The
non-Catholic spouse gives a precaution to remove the danger of
perversion from the Catholic spouse, and from both spouses [there is a
promise] that all children will be baptized only Catholic and so
educated; °3 There is moral certitude the cautions will be implemented.
§ 2 These cautions are regularly required in writing." (1917 Code
of Canon Law)
"Can. 1062 The Catholic spouse is bound by the obligation of
prudently taking care for the conversion of the non-Catholic
spouse." (1917 Code of Canon Law)
"Passing now to that point about the requested assistance of
parish priests in mixed marriages, we say that if the above named
admonition to recall the Catholic party from the unlawful marriage has
been fulfilled, and nevertheless he persists in his will to contract it,
and it is foreseen that the marriage will inevitably follow, then the
Catholic priest can lend his material presence, nevertheless in such
wise that he is bound to observe the following precautions: First, that
he does not assist at such a marriage in a sacred place, nor clothed in
any vestment betokening a sacred function, nor will he recite over the
contracting parties any prayers of the Church, and in no way shall he
bless them. Secondly, that he will exact and receive from the
contracting heretic a declaration in writing, in which with an oath in
the presence of two witnesses, who also ought to sign their names, he
obligates himself to permit his partner the free use of the Catholic
religion, and to educate in it all the children who shall be born
without any distinction of sex...Thirdly, that the contracting Catholic
make a declaration signed by himself and two witnesses, in which he
promises with an oath not only never to apostatize from his Catholic
religion, but to educate in it all his future offspring, and to procure
effectively the conversion of the other contracting non-Catholic."
(Pope Pius VI, 1782 A.D.)
The Church also warns:
"Also see that such toleration towards mixed marriages does not
extinguish the memory of the canons execrating such marriages as well as
of the constant care of the Church to prevent her children from entering
into such marriages to the loss of their souls" (Pope Gregory XVI,
"Quas Vestro", 1841 A.D.)
"If, indeed, in certain places, because of difficulties of place
and conditions, such marriages are tolerated, the reason is surely a
sort of moderation. It is in no way to be considered approbation or
approval, but merely a toleration, brought about not willingly but by
necessity to avoid greater evils. ... Moreover, if this Apostolic See,
mitigating to some extent the full letter of the canons, has, on
occasion, allowed such mixed marriages, it has done so only in serious
cases and reluctantly. Moreover, it has done so only when precautions
are taken to prevent the perversion of the Catholic spouse by the
non-Catholic party. Also the Catholic party realized an obligation to
work for the conversion of the other party; the Catholic party also
realized that all offspring from such marriages be educated only in the
sanctity of the Catholic religion. Such precautions are surely founded
on divine law, against which, without any doubt, one seriously sins who
rashly exposes himself or herself and future offspring to the danger of
perversion." (Pope Gregory XVI, "Quas Vestro", 1841 A.D.)
"The Apostolic See has always ensured that the canons forbidding
the marriages of Catholics with heretics have been observed religiously.
Occasionally such marriages have been tolerated in order to avoid more
serious scandals. But, even then, the Roman Pontiffs saw to it that the
faithful were taught how deformed these marriages are and what spiritual
dangers they present. A Catholic man or woman would be guilty of a great
crime if he presumed to violate the canonical sanctions in this matter.
And if the Roman Pontiffs themselves very reluctantly relaxed this same
canonical prohibition in some serious cases, they always added to their
dispensation a formal condition: that the Catholic party must not be
perverted, but rather must make every effort to withdraw the
non-Catholic party from error and that the offspring of both sexes must
be educated entirely in the Catholic religion." (Pope Gregory XVI,
"Summo Iugiter Studio", 1832 A.D.)
"Mixed marriages, which are contracted by Catholics with
heretics or schismatics, are and remain firmly prohibited, unless, when
a just and weighty canonical reason is added, and lawful cautions have
been given on both sides, honestly and formally, a dispensation has been
duly obtained from the impediment of the mixed religion by the Catholic
party... [T]hey sin gravely who contract them in the presence of a non-Catholic
minister, or in the presence of only a civil magistrate, or in any
clandestine manner. Moreover, if any Catholics in celebrating these
marriages seek and accept the service of a non-Catholic minister, they
commit another sin and are subject to canonical censures." (Pope
St. Pius X, "Provida sapientique", Jan. 18, 1906 A.D.)
"But it may happen that these warnings and admonitions go
unheeded and that some Catholic man or woman is unwilling to give up his
perverse intention of entering upon a mixed marriage. If a dispensation
is not requested or not obtained from the Church or if the necessary
conditions or a certain one of them is not fulfilled, then it will be
the duty of the priest to abstain not only from honoring the marriage
itself with his presence, but also from announcing the marriage and from
granting dimissory letters. You must admonish the priests and demand
that they abstain from every such act. For one who has the care of souls
and who acts differently, especially in the [applicable circumstances], would seem in some way to approve these illicit marriages by
his actions. His works would encourage the liberty of those souls, a
liberty which is pernicious to their salvation and even to the cause of
faith." (Pope Gregory XVI, "Summo Iugiter Studio", 1832
A.D.)
"Thus, from your letter We learn that in your dioceses an abuse
has become common: namely, that marriages between Catholics and
non-Catholics, without any previous dispensation from the Church and
without necessary precautions, are dignified with priestly blessing and
sacramental rites. It must be clear to you how deeply We are affected by
this, especially since We perceive that once this license with regard to
mixed marriages was introduced, it became widely disseminated. This in
turn resulted in a rapidly spreading deadly indifference toward religion
in your great kingdom, once so preeminent in the glory of the Catholic
faith. Let us not be mistaken: We would scarcely have overlooked this
practice if it had been known to Us earlier. This was the reason for Our
silence. In the past the Apostolic See granted no dispensation
whatsoever for entering such mixed marriages without the necessary
preliminary conditions and without the customary regulations."
(Pope Gregory XVI, "Quas Vestro", 1841 A.D.)
"... grieving very much that there are among Catholics those who,
becoming shamefully deranged by a mad love, do not wholeheartedly abhor
and think that they should refrain from these detestable marriages which
Holy Mother Church has continually condemned and interdicted, and
praising greatly the zeal of those bishops, who, by proposing severe
penalties, endeavor to restrain Catholics from uniting themselves to
heretics in this sacrilegious bond, His Holiness encourages, exhorts,
and advises seriously and gravely all bishops, vicars apostolic, parish
priests, missionaries, and every other faithful minister of God and of
the Church who reside in those regions, to deter, in so far as they can,
Catholics of both sexes from entering into marriages of this kind to the
destruction of their own souls, and to make it their business to avert
in every good way and efficaciously to hinder these same marriages." (Pope Benedict
XIV, "Matrimonia, quae in locis", 1741 A.D.)
Remember that one's failure
to heed the laws of the Church may result in danger to the soul.
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