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THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
Importance
of Instruction on This Sacrament
Nature and Meaning of Marriage
Names
of This Sacrament
Definition
of Matrimony
Essence
and Cause of Marriage
The Kind of Consent Required in Matrimony
Mutual
External
Present
The Essence of Marriage Constituted by the
Consent
Twofold Consideration of Marriage
Marriage
As a Natural Contract
Instituted By God
Marriage
is Indissoluble by Divine Law
Marriage Not Obligatory
On All
The Motives
and Ends of Marriage
Marriage Considered as a Sacrament
Marriage
is a Sacrament
Marriage
Before Christ
It Was Not
a Sacrament
Before Christ Marriage Had Fallen From
its
Primitive Unity and Indissolubility
Christ Restored to Marriage its Primitive
Qualities
Unity
of Marriage
Indissolubility
of Marriage
Advantages
of Indissolubility
The Three Blessings of Marriage
Offspring
Fidelity
Sacrament
The Duties of Married People
Duties
of a Husband
Duties
of a Wife
The Law of the Church on Marriage
The Rite
To Be Observed
The Impediments
of Marriage
The Recipient of Matrimony
Dispositions With Which
the Sacrament is to be
Approached
Consent
of Parents
The Use
of Marriage
THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
Importance
of Instruction on This Sacrament
As it is the duty of the pastor to seek the
holiness and perfection of the faithful, his earnest desires must be in
full accordance with those expressed by the Apostle when writing to the
Corinthians: I would that all men were even as myself, that is, that all
should embrace the virtue of continence. No greater happiness can befall
the faithful in this life than to have their souls distracted by no
worldly cares, the unruly desires of the flesh tranquillized and
restrained, and the mind fixed on the practice of piety and the
contemplation of heavenly things.
But as, according to the same Apostle, every one
hath his proper gift from God, one after this manner, and another after
that; and as marriage is gifted with great and divine blessings, so much
so as truly and properly to hold a place among the other Sacraments of
the Catholic Church, and as its celebration was honored by the presence
of our Lord Himself, it is clear that this subject should be explained,
particularly since we find that St. Paul and the Prince of the Apostles
have in many places minutely described to us not only the dignity but
also the duties of the married state. Filled with the Spirit of God
(these Apostles) well understood the numerous and important advantages
which must flow to Christian society from a knowledge, and an inviolable
observance by the faithful of the sanctity of marriage; while they saw
that from ignorance or disregard of (its holiness), many and serious
calamities and losses must be brought upon the Church.
Nature and Meaning of Marriage
The nature and meaning of marriage are, therefore,
to be first explained. Vice not infrequently assumes the semblance of
virtue, and hence care must be taken that the faithful be not deceived
by a false appearance of marriage, and thus stain their souls with
turpitude and wicked lusts. To explain this subject, let us begin with
the meaning of the word itself.
Names of This Sacrament
The word matrimony is derived from the fact that
the principal object which a female should propose to herself in
marriage is to become a mother; or from the fact that to a mother it
belongs to conceive, bring forth and train her offspring.
It is also called wedlock (conjugium) from joining
together, because a lawful wife is united to her husband, as it were, by
a common yoke.
It is called nuptials, because, as St. Ambrose
observes, the bride veiled her face through modesty - a custom which
would also seem to imply that she was to be subject and obedient to her
husband.
Definition of Matrimony
Matrimony, according to the general opinion of
theologians, is defined: The conjugal union of man and woman, contracted
between two qualified persons, which obliges them to live together
throughout life.
In order that the different parts of this
definition may be better understood, it should be taught that, although
a perfect marriage has all the following conditions, - namely, internal
consent, external compact expressed by words, the obligation and tie
which arise from the contract, and the marriage debt by which it is
consummated; yet the obligation and tie expressed by the word union
alone have the force and nature of marriage.
The special character of this union is marked by
the word conjugal. This word is added because other contracts, by which
men and women bind themselves to help each other in consideration of
money received or other reason, differ essentially from matrimony.
Next follow the words between qualified persons;
for persons excluded by law cannot contract marriage, and if they do
their marriage is invalid. Persons, for instance, within the fourth
degree of kindred, a boy before his fourteenth year, and a female before
her twelfth, the ages established by [canon] law, cannot contract marriage.
The words, which obliges them to live together
throughout life, express the indissolubility of the tie which binds
husband and wife.
Essence
and Cause of Marriage
Hence it is evident that marriage consists in the
tie spoken of above. Some eminent theologians, it is true, say that it
consists in the consent, as when they define it: The consent of the man
and woman. But we are to understand them to mean that the consent is the
efficient cause of marriage, which is the doctrine of the Fathers of the
Council of Florence; because, without the consent and contract, the
obligation and tie cannot possibly exist.
The Kind of Consent Required in Matrimony
It is most necessary that the consent be expressed
in words denoting present time.
Mutual
Marriage is not a mere donation, but a mutual
agreement; and therefore the consent of one of the parties is
insufficient for marriage, the consent of both being essential.
External
To declare this consent words are obviously
necessary. If the internal consent alone, without any external
indication, were sufficient for marriage, it would then seem to follow
as a necessary consequence, that were two persons, living in the most
separate and distant countries, to consent to marry, they would contract
a true and indissoluble marriage, even before they had mutually
signified to each other their consent by letter or messenger - a
consequence as repugnant to reason as it is opposed to the decrees and
established usage of holy Church.
Present
Rightly was it said that the consent must be
expressed in words which have reference to present time; for words which
signify a future time, promise, but do not actually unite in marriage.
Besides, it is evident that what is to be done has no present existence,
and what has no present existence can have little or no firmness or
stability. Hence a man who has only promised to marry a certain woman
acquires by the promise no marriage rights, since his promise has not
yet been fulfilled. Such promises are, it is true, obligatory, and their
violation involves the offending party in a breach of faith. But he who
has once entered into the matrimonial alliance, regret it as he
afterwards may, cannot possibly change, or invalidate, or undo what has
been done.
As, then, the marriage contract is not a mere
promise, but a transfer of right, by which the man actually yields the
dominion of his body to the woman, the woman the dominion of her body to
the man, it must therefore be made in words which designate the present
time, the force of which words abides with undiminished efficacy from
the moment of their utterance, and binds the husband and wife by a tie
that cannot be broken.
Instead of words, however, it may be sufficient
for marriage to substitute a nod or other unequivocal sign of internal
consent. Even silence, when the result of female modesty, may be
sufficient, provided the parents answer for their daughter.
The Essence of Marriage Constituted by the
Consent
Hence pastors should teach the faithful that the
nature and force of marriage consists in the tie and obligation; and
that, without consummation, the consent of the parties, expressed in the
manner already explained, is sufficient to constitute a true marriage.
It is certain that our first parents before their fall, when, according
to the holy Fathers, no consummation took place, were really united in
marriage. Hence the Fathers say that marriage consists not in its use
but in the consent. This doctrine is repeated by St. Ambrose in his book
On Virgins.
Twofold Consideration of Marriage
When these matters have been explained, it should
be taught that matrimony is to be considered from two points of view,
either as a natural union, since it was not invented by man but
instituted by nature; or as a Sacrament, the efficacy of which
transcends the order of nature.
Marriage As
a Natural Contract
As grace perfects nature, and as that was not
first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; afterwards that
which is spiritual, the order of our matter requires that we first treat
of Matrimony as a natural contract, imposing natural duties, and next
consider what pertains to it as a Sacrament.
Instituted By God
The faithful, therefore, are to be taught in the
first place that marriage was instituted by God. We read in Genesis that
God created them male and female, and blessed them, saying:
"Increase and multiply"; and also: "It is not good for
man to be alone: let us make him a help like unto himself." And a
little further on: But for Adam there was not found a helper like
himself. Then the Lord God cast a deep sleep upon Adam; and when he was
fast asleep, he took one of his ribs, and filled up flesh for it. And
the Lord God built a rib which he took from Adam into a woman, and
brought her to Adam; and Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones,
and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken
out of man: wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife; and they shall be two in one flesh," These
words, according to the authority of our Lord Himself, as we read in St.
Matthew, prove the divine institution of Matrimony.
Marriage
is Indissoluble by Divine Law
Not only did God institute marriage; He also, as
the Council of Trent declares, rendered it perpetual and indissoluble. What God hath joined together, says our Lord, let not man separate.
Although it belongs to marriage as a natural
contract to be indissoluble, yet its indissolubility arises principally
from its nature as a Sacrament, as it is the sacramental character that,
in all its natural relations, elevates marriage to the highest
perfection. In any event, dissolubility is at once opposed to the proper
education of children, and to the other advantages of marriage.
Marriage Not Obligatory
On All
The words increase and multiply, which were
uttered by the Lord, do not impose on every individual an obligation to
marry, but only declare the purpose of the institution of marriage. Now
that the human race is widely diffused, not only is there no law
rendering marriage obligatory, but, on the contrary, virginity is highly
exalted and strongly recommended in Scripture as superior to marriage,
and as a state of greater perfection and holiness. For our Lord and
Savior taught as follows: He that can take it, let him take it; and the
Apostle says: Concerning virgins I have no commandment from the Lord;
but I give counsel as having obtained mercy from the Lord to be
faithful.
The Motives
and Ends of Marriage
We have now to explain why man and woman should be
joined in marriage. First of all, nature itself by an instinct implanted
in both sexes impels them to such companionship, and this is further
encouraged by the hope of mutual assistance in bearing more easily the
discomforts of life and the infirmities of old age.
A second reason for marriage is the desire of
family, not so much, however, with a view to leave after us heirs to
inherit our property and fortune, as to bring up children in the true
faith and in the service of God. That such was the principal object of
the holy Patriarchs when they married is clear from Scripture. Hence the
Angel, when informing Tobias of the means of repelling the violent
assaults of the evil demon, says: I will show thee who they are over
whom the devil can prevail; for they who in such manner receive
matrimony as to shut out God from themselves and from their mind, and to
give themselves to their lust, as the horse and mule which have not
understanding, over them the devil hath power. He then adds: Thou shalt
take the virgin with the fear of the Lord, moved rather for love of
children than for lust, that in the seed of Abraham thou mayest obtain a
blessing in children. It was also for this reason that God instituted
marriage from the beginning; and therefore married persons who, to
prevent conception or procure abortion, have recourse to medicine, are
guilty of a most heinous crime - nothing less than wicked conspiracy to
commit murder.
A third reason has been added, as a consequence of
the fall of our first parents. On account of the loss of original
innocence the passions began to rise in rebellion against right reason;
and man, conscious of his own frailty and unwilling to fight the battles
of the flesh, is supplied by marriage with an antidote by which to avoid
sins of lust. For fear of fornication, says the Apostle, let every man
have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband; and a
little after, having recommended to married persons a temporary
abstinence from the marriage debt, to give themselves to prayer, he
adds: Return together again, lest Satan tempt you for your incontinency.
These are ends, some one of which, those who
desire to contract marriage piously and religiously, as becomes the
children of the Saints, should propose to themselves. If to these we add
other causes which induce to contract marriage, and, in choosing a wife,
to prefer one person to another, such as the desire of leaving an heir,
wealth, beauty, illustrious descent, congeniality of disposition - such
motives, because not inconsistent with the holiness of marriage, are not
to be condemned. We do not find that the Sacred Scriptures condemn the
Patriarch Jacob for having chosen Rachel for her beauty, in preference
to Lia.
So much should be explained regarding Matrimony as
a natural contract.
Marriage Considered as a Sacrament
It will now be necessary to explain that Matrimony
is far superior in its sacramental aspect and aims at an incomparably
higher end. For as marriage, as a natural union, was instituted from the
beginning to propagate the human race; so was the sacramental dignity
subsequently conferred upon it in order that a people might be begotten
and brought up for the service and worship of the true God and of Christ
our Savior.
Thus when Christ our Lord wished to give a sign of
the intimate union that exists between Him and His Church and of His
immense love for us, He chose especially the sacred union of man and
wife. That this sign was a most appropriate one will readily appear from
the fact that of all human relations there is none that binds so closely
as the marriage-tie, and from the fact that husband and wife are bound
to one another by the bonds of the greatest affection and love. Hence it
is that Holy Writ so frequently represents to us the divine union of
Christ and the Church under the figure of marriage.
Marriage is a
Sacrament
That Matrimony is a Sacrament the Church,
following the authority of the Apostle, has always held to be certain
and incontestable. In his Epistle to the Ephesians he writes: Men should
love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth it and
cherisheth it, as also Christ doth the church; for we are members of his
body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall adhere to his wife, and they shall be
two in one flesh. This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and
in the church. Now his expression, this is a great sacrament,
undoubtedly refers to Matrimony, and must be taken to mean that the
union of man and wife, which has God for its Author, is a Sacrament,
that is, a sacred sign of that most holy union that binds Christ our
Lord to His Church.
That this is the true and proper meaning of the
Apostle's words is shown by the ancient holy Fathers who have
interpreted them, and by the explanation furnished by the Council of
Trent. It is indubitable, therefore, that the Apostle compares the
husband to Christ, and the wife to the Church; that the husband is head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church; and that for this very
reason the husband should love his wife and the wife love and respect
her husband. For Christ loved his church, and gave himself for her;
while as the same Apostle teaches, the church is subject to Christ.
That grace is also signified and conferred by this
Sacrament, which are two properties that constitute the principal
characteristics of each Sacrament, is declared by the Council as
follows: By his passion Christ, the Author and Perfecter of the
venerable Sacraments, merited for us the grace that perfects the natural
love (of husband and wife), confirms their indissoluble union, and
sanctifies them. It should, therefore, be shown that by the grace of
this Sacrament husband and wife are joined in the bonds of mutual love,
cherish affection one towards the other, avoid illicit attachments and
passions, and so keep their marriage honorable in all things...and
their bed undefiled.
Marriage Before Christ
It Was Not a Sacrament
How much the Sacrament of Matrimony is superior to
the marriages made both previous to and under the (Mosaic) Law may be
judged from the fact that though the Gentiles themselves were convinced
there was something divine in marriage, and for that reason regarded
promiscuous intercourse as contrary to the law of nature, while they
also considered fornication, adultery and other kinds of impurity to be
punishable offences; yet their marriages never had any sacramental
value.
Among the Jews the laws of marriage were observed
far more religiously, and it cannot be doubted that their unions were
endowed with more holiness. As they had received from God the promise
that in the seed of Abraham all nations should be blessed, it was
justly considered by them to be a very pious duty to bring forth
children, and thus contribute to the propagation of the chosen people
from whom Christ the Lord and Savior was to derive His birth in His
human nature. Still their unions also fell short of the real nature of a
Sacrament.
Before Christ Marriage Had Fallen From
its
Primitive Unity and Indissolubility
It should be added that if we consider the law of
nature after the fall and the Law of Moses we shall easily see that
marriage had fallen from its original honor and purity. Thus under
the law of nature we read of many of the ancient Patriarchs that they
had several wives at the same time; while under the Law of Moses it was
permissible, should cause exist, to repudiate one's wife by giving her a
bill of divorce. Both these (concessions) have been suppressed by the
law of the Gospel, and marriage has been restored to its original state.
Christ Restored to Marriage its Primitive
Qualities
Unity of Marriage
Though some of the ancient Patriarchs are not to
be blamed for having married several wives, since they did not act thus
without divine dispensation, yet Christ our Lord has clearly shown that
polygamy is not in keeping with the nature of Matrimony. These are His
words: For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave unto his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh; and He adds:
wherefore they are no more two but one flesh. In these words He makes it
clear that God instituted marriage to be the union of two, and only two
persons. The same truth He has taught very distinctly in another
passage, wherein He says: Whosoever shall put away his wife and marry
another, committeth adultery against her; and if the wife shall put away
her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. For if
it were lawful for a man to have several wives, there is no reason why
he who takes to himself a second wife, along with the wife he already
has, should be regarded as more guilty of adultery than if he had
dismissed his first wife and taken a second.
Hence it is that when an infidel who, following
the customs of his country has married several wives, happens to be
converted to the true religion, the Church orders him to dismiss all but
the first, and regard her alone as his true and lawful wife.
Indissolubility
of Marriage
The self-same testimony of Christ our Lord easily
proves that the marriage-tie cannot be broken by any sort of divorce.
For if by a bill of divorce a woman were freed from the law that binds
her to her husband, she might marry another husband without being in the
least guilty of adultery. Yet our Lord says clearly: Whosoever shall put
away his wife and shall marry another committeth adultery. Hence it is
plain that the bond of marriage can be dissolved by death alone, as is
confirmed by the Apostle when he says: A woman is bound by the law as
long as her husband liveth; but if her husband die she is at liberty;
let her marry whom she will, only in the Lord; and again: To them that
are married, not I but the Lord commandeth, that the wife depart not
from her husband; and if she depart that she remain unmarried or be
reconciled to her husband. To the wife, then, who for a just cause has
left her husband, the Apostle offers this alternative: Let her either
remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. Nor does holy Church
permit husband and wife to separate without weighty reasons.
Advantages
of Indissolubility
Lest, however, the law of Matrimony should seem
too severe on account of its absolute indissolubility, the advantages of
this indissolubility should be pointed out.
The first (beneficial consequence) is that men are
given to understand that in entering Matrimony virtue and congeniality
of disposition are to be preferred to wealth or beauty - a circumstance
that cannot but prove of the very highest advantage to the interests of
society at large.
In the second place, if marriage could be
dissolved by divorce, married persons would hardly ever be without
causes of disunion, which would be daily supplied by the old enemy of
peace and purity; while, on the contrary, now that the faithful must
remember that even though separated as to bed and board, they remain
none the less bound by the bond of marriage with no hope of marrying
another, they are by this very fact rendered less prone to strife and
discord. And even if it sometimes happens that husband and wife become
separated, and are unable to bear the want of their partnership any
longer, they are easily reconciled by friends and return to their common
life.
The pastor should not here omit the salutary
admonition of St. Augustine who, to convince the faithful that they
should not consider it a hardship to receive back the wife they have put
away for adultery, provided she repents of her crime, observes: Why
should not the Christian husband receive back his wife when the Church
receives her? And why should not the wife pardon her adulterous but
penitent husband when Christ has already pardoned him? True it is that
Scripture calls him foolish who keepeth an adulteress; but the meaning
refers to her who refuses to repent of her crime and quit the
disgraceful course she has entered on.
From all this it will be clear that Christian
marriage is far superior in dignity and perfection to that of Gentiles
and Jews.
The Three Blessings of Marriage
The faithful should also be shown that there are
three blessings of marriage: children, fidelity and the Sacrament. These
are blessings which to some degree compensate for the inconveniences
referred to by the Apostle in the words: Such shall have tribulation of
the flesh, and they lead to this other result that sexual intercourse,
which is sinful outside of marriage, is rendered right and honorable.
Offspring
The first blessing, then, is a family, that is to
say, children born of a true and lawful wife. So highly did the Apostle
esteem this blessing that he says: The woman shall be saved by bearing
children. These words are to be understood not only of bearing
children, but also of bringing them up and training them to the practice
of piety; for the Apostle immediately subjoins: If she continue in
faith. Scripture says: Hast thou children? Instruct them and bow down
their necks from childhood. The same is taught by the Apostle; while
Tobias, Job and other holy Patriarchs in Sacred Scripture furnish us
with beautiful examples of such training...
Fidelity
The second advantage of marriage is faith, not
indeed that virtue which we receive in Baptism; but the fidelity which
binds wife to husband and husband to wife in such a way that they
mutually deliver to each other power over their bodies, promising at the
same time never to violate the holy bond of Matrimony. This is easily
inferred from the words pronounced by Adam when taking Eve as his wife,
and which were afterwards confirmed by Christ our Lord in the Gospel:
Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother and shall cleave to his
wife and they shall be two in one flesh. It is also inferred from the
words of the Apostle: The wife hath not power of her own body, but the
husband: and in like manner, the husband hath not power of his own body
but the wife. Justly, then, did the Lord in the Old Law ordain the most
severe penalties against adulterers who violated this conjugal fidelity.
Matrimonial fidelity also demands that they love
one another with a special, holy and pure love; not as adulterers love
one another but as Christ loves His Church. This is the rule laid down
by the Apostle when he says: Husbands, love your wives as Christ also
loved the church. And surely (Christ's) love for His Church was immense;
it was a love inspired not by His own advantage, but only by the
advantage of His spouse.
Sacrament
The third advantage is called the Sacrament, that
is to say, the indissoluble bond of marriage. As the Apostle has it: The
Lord commanded that the wife depart not from the husband, and if she
depart that she remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband; and
let not the husband put away his wife. And truly, if marriage as a
Sacrament represents the union of Christ with His Church, it also
necessarily follows that just as Christ never separates Himself from His
Church, so in like manner the wife can never be separated from her
husband in so far as regards the marriage-tie.
The Duties of Married People
The more easily to preserve the holy state (of
marriage) from dissensions, the duties of husband and wife as inculcated
by St. Paul and by the Prince of the Apostles must be explained.
Duties of a Husband
It is the duty of the husband to treat his wife
generously and honorably. It should not be forgotten that Eve was
called by Adam his companion. The woman, he says, whom thou gavest me as
a companion. Hence it was, according to the opinion of some of the holy
Fathers, that she was formed not from the feet but from the side of man;
as, on the other hand, she was not formed from his head, in order to
give her to understand that it was not hers to command but to obey her
husband.
The husband should also be constantly occupied in
some honest pursuit with a view to provide necessaries for the support
of his family and to avoid idleness, the root of almost every vice.
He is also to keep all his family in order, to
correct their morals, and see that they faithfully discharge their
duties.
Duties of a Wife
On the other hand, the duties of a wife are thus
summed up by the Prince of the Apostles: Let wives be subject to their
husbands that if any believe not the word, they may be won without the
word by the conversation of the wives, considering your chaste
conversation with fear. Let not their adorning be the outward plaiting
of the hair, or the wearing of gold, or the putting on of apparel: but
the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and meek
spirit, which is rich in the sight of God. For after this manner
heretofore the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves,
being in subjection to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham,
calling him lord.
To train their children in the practice of virtue
and to pay particular attention to their domestic concerns should also
be especial objects of their attention. The wife should love to remain
at home, unless compelled by necessity to go out; and she should never
presume to leave home without her husband's consent.
Again, and in this the conjugal union chiefly
consists, let wives never forget that next to God they are to love their
husbands, to esteem them above all others, yielding to them in all
things not inconsistent with Christian piety, a willing and ready
obedience.
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The Law of the Church on Marriage
The Rite To Be Observed
Having explained these matters, pastors should
next teach what rites are to be observed in contracting marriage. There
is no need, however, that we dwell on these questions here. The Council
of Trent has laid down fully and accurately what must be chiefly
observed; and this decree will not be unknown to pastors. It will
suffice, then, to admonish them-to study to make themselves acquainted,
from the doctrine of the Council, with what regards this subject, and to
explain it carefully to the faithful.
But above all, lest young persons, whose period of
life is marked by extreme indiscretion, should be deceived by a merely
nominal marriage and foolishly rush into sinful love-unions, the pastor
cannot too frequently remind them that there can be no true and valid
marriage unless it be contracted in the presence of the parish priest,
or of some other priest commissioned by him, or by the Ordinary, and
that of a certain number of witnesses.
The Impediments
of Marriage
The impediments of marriage are also to be
explained, a subject so minutely and accurately treated by many grave
and learned writers on the virtues and vices as to render it an easy
task to draw upon their labors, particularly as the pastor has occasion
to have such works continually in his hands. The instructions,
therefore, which such books contain, and also the decrees of the Council
with regard to the impediments arising from spiritual relationship, from
public honesty, and from fornication, the pastor should peruse with
attention and expound with care.
The Recipient of Matrimony
Dispositions With Which
the Sacrament is to be
Approached
From the above may be learned the dispositions
with which the faithful should contract matrimony. They should consider
that they are about to enter upon a work that is not human but divine.
The example of the Fathers of the Old Law, who esteemed marriage as a
most holy and religious rite, although it had not then been raised to
the dignity of a Sacrament, shows the singular purity of soul and piety
(with which Christians should approach marriage).
Consent of Parents
Among other things, children should be exhorted
earnestly that they owe as a tribute of respect to their parents, or to
those under whose guardianship and authority they are placed, not to
contract marriage without their knowledge, still less in defiance of
their express wishes. It should be observed that in the Old Law children
were always given in marriage by their fathers; and that the will of the
parent is always to have very great influence on the choice of the
child, is clear from these words of the Apostle He that giveth his
virgin in marriage doth well; and he that giveth her not, doth better.
The Use of Marriage
Finally, the use of marriage is a subject which
pastors should so treat as to avoid any expression that may be unfit to
meet the ears of the faithful, that may be calculated to offend the
piety of some, or excite the laughter of others. The words of the Lord
are chaste words; and the teacher of a Christian people should make use
of the same kind of language, one that is characterized by singular
gravity and purity of soul. Two lessons of instruction to the faithful
are, then, to be specially insisted upon.
The first is that marriage is not to be used for
purposes of lust or sensuality, but that its use is to be restrained
within those limits which, as we have already shown, have been fixed by
the Lord. It should be remembered that the Apostle admonishes: They that
have wives, let them be as though they had them not, and that St. Jerome
says: The love which a wise man cherishes towards his wife is the result
of judgment, not the impulse of passion; he governs the impetuosity of
desire, and is not hurried into indulgence. There is nothing more
shameful than that a husband should love his wife as an adulteress.
But as every blessing is to be obtained from God
by holy prayer, the faithful are also to be taught sometimes to abstain
from the marriage debt, in order to devote themselves to prayer. Let the
faithful understand that (this religious continence), according to the
proper and holy injunction of our predecessors, is particularly to be
observed for at least three days before Communion, and oftener during
the solemn fast of Lent.
Thus will they find the blessings of marriage to
be daily increased by an abundance of divine grace; and living in the
pursuit of piety, they will not only spend this life in peace and
tranquillity, but will also repose in the true and firm hope, which
confoundeth not, of arriving, through the divine goodness, at the
possession of that life which is eternal.
Also
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Matrimony (Topic
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