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'Quick Help' Page: Division In Marriage Over TLM/NO

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Traditional Latin Mass | TLM

Tridentine Latin Mass

Ancient Mass

Novus Ordo Mass

1960's Mass

New Mass Causing Division

Marital Discord

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Question / Issue:

"I am so mixed up as to which Mass is valid, Latin vs. Novus Ordo. My wife wants the Novus Ordo, I want Latin. It is causing some division."

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I'm sorry to hear that the new rite (1960's Mass) has caused division between yourself and your wife. This is very regrettable. As to which Mass is valid, they would both be valid if they are done with the correct form, matter, intention. For more on what makes a sacrament valid, please see here. However, as one dear priest I know has said (paraphrasing here), "being valid is the best thing I can say about the Novus Ordo." This is quite an unfortunate situation. For more on the differences between the two rites, please see here. In regards to your dear wife, what is the reason she prefers the Novus Ordo? Is she perhaps willing to be persuaded by facts about either the old or the new Mass? For example, what about some of the points mentioned here? Even if she is not willing to consider these issues, I would suggest persevering prayer. As I have heard someone say, the desire for the Traditional Mass is a grace that God sometimes gives over time. Perhaps God may be willing to likewise grant your wife this grace sometime in the future. In the meantime, practice kindness and patience. And should the situation warrant it, you might consider some outside help (e.g. perhaps speaking with a good priest?). May God grant you and your wife many blessings.

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"Among men there is no love more ardent, no greater or more intimate tie, than that of those who are united by marriage." (Catechism of the Council of Trent)

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